Feelings vs. Facts: What is Real?
Last weekend, I was hit with the worst thought. There I was on a beautiful day surrounded by my family as we celebrated a sixteenth birthday. Everyone was there—both my grown boys, their significant others, and a brood of five kids. The party was lively with everyone laughing and chatting, but somehow, I had the oddest feeling of being an outsider watching the party through a window. The feeling set off a thought that immediately fueled a bout of tears, so I quietly withdrew from the noisy throng under the pretense of using the restroom. Once away, I grabbed my windbreaker, slipped out the front door, and wandered up the road. The thought continued hitting me like a sledgehammer.
“You are no longer necessary!”
As I walked, I didn’t wipe away my tears. I had every right to feel sorry for myself.
Sorting It Out
My thoughts were so loud that I didn’t hear Lilly, my son’s eleven-year-old stepdaughter, come up from behind me. When she touched my hand, I glanced back and saw the rest of the kids on bikes and skateboards yelling good-natured insults at each other as they followed me at a distance. I quickly pulled it together as Lilly and I chatted about school and her cheer competition. Her sister Piper hurried to catch up wearing a concerned expression. Piper is one of those kids who is nine going on thirty-five, so when she announced that she wants to get a job, I couldn’t contain my smile. The three of us discussed Piper’s options, which might include babysitting and pet sitting. By the time we arrived back at the house, we three agreed that I would teach the girls interview skills so when the time comes, they will be ready. That’s when I was hit with an AHA.
I will admit that the original thought, although fleeting, was a potent one. At the moment, it did, indeed, feel like a fact. Thankfully, I had the wherewithal to make the differentiation between the two. By stepping away, I gave myself the time and the grace I needed to feel the emotion and then to look at the situation from a more truthful viewpoint.
Great post